


Keep Tomoeda Weird

by ConjuringScribeZiel



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Gen, no Clear Card spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 19:13:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19774627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConjuringScribeZiel/pseuds/ConjuringScribeZiel
Summary: Mike is from Portland.  People had warned him that moving to Japan would be a culture shock- and it is- but he likes to think that over 20 years experience of being born and raised in Portland helps him roll with the punches.  Nothing quite prepares him for Tomoeda and its rampaging strangeness.





	Keep Tomoeda Weird

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to NekoKitkat
> 
> Mike from Portland was my favorite character since the moment I first watched his 10 second scene. I know we don't get to see which Portland he's from but I have a personal investment in believing he's from Oregon. The native weirdness of Oregon seemed like a great combination with Tomoeda's Clow Card wackiness so I knew I just hard to write this story.
> 
> Title is taken from "Keep Portland Weird" which has sort of been adopted as the (un)official city slogan and you'll find it literally everywhere in Portland.

"I'm one of those regular weird people."

**-** _Janis Joplin_

Mike is from Portland. He's seen weird and knows weird. Weird and he are like old friends.

People had warned him that moving to Japan would be a culture shock- and it is- but he likes to think that over 20 years experience of being born and raised in Portland helps him roll with the punches.

There were some things he was used to, such as people not knowing where Oregon was (to some the United States consisted of Disneyland and New York and not much in-between) or people pronouncing Oregon as “ore-ee-GONE” instead of “OR-gan” (yes, it's strange but not as bad as Kansas vs Arkansas). He was more forgiving of these things while being overseas (even if hearing “or-ee-GONE” still made him twitch).

Overall he liked Japan and he felt good about this career move (and literal move) to become an English teacher. It was not only a fresh start, but it was also exciting!

Tomoeda wasn't as urban as other parts around Tokyo but then Portland hadn't been a towering metropolis either. He missed being close to rivers and somehow a city felt incomplete without bridges or a view of ice-capped mountains. But Tomoeda had its own charm and beauty with its many cherry trees, sprawling neighborhoods, and beautiful temple. (There were also far fewer one-way streets, thank God!)

“Oh, Tomoeda is a very nice place to live and you'll like the schools,” had been the ubiquitous opinion he'd gathered from others but always there was this little pause, this tiny bit of hesitation before they'd add, “but it has its... _unique_ moments.”

Mike would think of seeing someone dressed as a T-Rex riding a jet-ski in the Willamette River, of a mass public mourning over the changing of the airport carpet, and the Unipiper rolling down the street on his unicycle while somehow managing to play a flaming bagpipe in full Darth Vader getup. Back home people just shrug and say, “Portland, man- what can you do?” before going about their day.

“I like unique,” is all Mike would say.

So while he adjusted to the apartment and the neighbors and his job and his students, Tomoeda still felt like a kind of summer camp rather than a new home.

That is until one day a giant inflatable bear went skipping down the street, breathing fire.

It came and bounded off so fast that Mike almost doubted he'd actually seen it. He must've had quite the look on his face because the people around him just smiled reassuringly. It was a familiar look, almost patronizing, saying _Poor newbie, there's nothing to be scared of._ He'd never been on the receiving end of that kind of look before.

That's when his neighbors started to share their stories. About the day where it rained rivers of flower petals during a school sports event that almost drowned the students but afterward made some of the best jam and tea the locals had ever had. There was the time the aquarium flooded and another time the elephants escaped from the zoo. Or the one snow storm in the middle of a sweltering summer. If it wasn't a tale about upside-down playground equipment then it was another one about storm clouds of stuffed animals. But in any event no one ever really got hurt and nothing bizarre ever seemed to last too long so there didn't seem to be any sense in being over-anxious about it and making a fuss. People here just shrugged and said, “Life is quirky sometimes,” and went back about their business.

Mike had never felt so fond of his new home.

* * *

Sakura was tired and cold and still had some jam in her left ear when she finally held a new Clear Card in her hand. This had been one very rough afternoon and she felt no closer to getting answers to her many, many questions but she tried to just be relieved this trial was over.

“Way to go, kiddo!” Kero cheered, posing in front of Tomoyo's camera. “I knew you could do it! Way to show all those little winged terrors who's boss!”

“So many tiny little Sakuras with wings,” cooed Tomoyo, still filming. “They weren't _really_ Sakura, I know, but they were so cute.”

Syaoran looked fatigued but the proud look in his eyes lifted Sakura's spirits greatly. “Hard to think of something as cute when they bite and dump food on you and doodle on you,” he said. He wiped again at his cheek but the black marker whiskers didn't even smudge. “They caused a lot of trouble but at least no one else seemed to see-”

“Kinomoto-san!” an unfamiliar voice called out and everyone jumped. (Kero made a mad dive into Tomoyo's bag.) The three kids turned to see their English teacher strolling up the park sidewalk. “Daidouji-san, Li-san. Good evening!”

Tomoyo and Syaoran murmured a polite, “Good evening,” back but Sakura could barely stammer. She was suddenly sharply aware of what a strange sight they must make. Not only was she in one of Tomoyo's special outfits but her right arm was elbow deep in jam stains, her left boot was missing, and she also had black marker scribbles all over her face. What must her teacher think?

However, her teacher didn't even do a double-take at any of them. “The sun is almost set,” is all he said. “Isn't it too late to still be out? You wouldn't want your parents to worry.”

Sakura and Syaoran both looked each in panic, hoping the other knew what to say. It was Tomoyo, though, who said quite calmly, “Yes, we've just finished here. We were about to head home right now.” Her two compatriots looked at her in slight awe; Tomoyo looked like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

Their teacher nodded “Be sure to go straight home and don't forget to do your reading. There's some tricky pronunciations but I think you all will do great.”

There's a chorus of, “We will, Sensei. Thank you, Sensei. Good night, Sensei,” and then he left, never once looking anything less than nonplussed.

After a long moment, Sakura said, “So... that was strange, right?”

“He's a foreigner,” Kero pipped up, popping back out of Tomoyo's bag. “Foreigners are all weird.”

Syaoran rolled his eyes. “Tomoeda is stranger than anything in China ever was. And I don't think a floating sock puppet should be one to talk.”

“WHAT YA SAY, BRAT? SAY IT AGAIN TO MY FACE!”

Tomoyo patted Sakura's shoulder reassuringly. “He probably only just came by and thought we were playing. It's likely he didn't see much of anything.”

“Maybe,” said Sakura. “But it still feels like that was too close! What if he _had_ seen something? Then what would we do?”

“That's why you gotta keep all the magic secret!” said Kero. “Normal people just can't handle things like this!”

* * *

“It's about time you did a video call!” Mike's brother scolded teasingly. “I was starting to forget what you looked like.”

“Sorry, sorry,” said Mike, rubbing the back of his head. “It's a lot of work to settle down in a new country. And the time difference throws me all off!”

“Well, luckily, I don't work normal hours. By the way, e-scooter pandemic is still going on. Police just pulled another 50 scooters out of the river!”

“Oh, wow!”

“Yeah. I bet you don't have to deal with any of this kind of weirdness where you are.”

“No... but I did see a swarm of angry, jam-stealing fairies. They were sure cute!”

“Wait, what?”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't live in Portland proper- just a tad south a bit- but everything Mike mentions seeing in Portland, I personally experienced (except the story of the e-scooters, I got that off the local news). Even the Unipiper is a real person; I don't know his name but seeing someone in costume play the bagpipes while riding a unicycle never gets old.


End file.
